S2 E23: Return of the Billy

Guess who's back! In case you didn't read the title, you might be curious. It's Billy, the one and only! I mean, there are other Billys in the world, but ours is a unique model. What has he been up to in the last six months? Why, he's been watching a not-anime series called RWBY (and yes, we suspect he has been watching it for six months straight). Cameron is back, too-- you know, from Bryan's Trip to Not-Sand Land! He has many jovial bladder-related stories to share. Stephen and Zachary aren't special, though. They're just dudes hangin' out. The episode concludes with a fun round of De-FIN-itions, which reveals a shocking Australian fact about Billy that ewe won't want to miss!

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. Other music is from Incompetech. Sound effects are from Freesound.

S2 E22: Bryan's Trip to Not-Sand Land

Long ago, Cameron came to visit Stephen and Bryan in the far away land of Texas. To Cameron's addled mind, Texas was a land comprised entirely of sand. He was sorely disappointed with the reality.

In July, however, the tables turned. Bryan instead set forth to venture out to Cameron's home of the West Coast! Dubbed appropriately, Not-Sand Land. The two embarked on a road trip down the west coast in search of... nothing in particular. San Francisco, I guess. They also created a haphazard collection of audio logs along the way, which they were kind enough to share with the world! 

Warning: these were minimally edited and hastily recorded, so don't expect our usual stellar sound quality. Or sanity, for that matter. It was a long trip.

S2 E21: One Fingerless Glove

Stephen, Ben, and Abigail-- all best friends with consideration of their respective first names-- are to do some word talking, one of their many hobbies. Other hobbies include reading, gaming, parkour, and more, which you will learn about during The Best and Worst of Kind of Everything. But before you get all self righteous, desists! They don't just talk about themselves; they also give other people unsolicited advice in a brand new edition of Whale Mail! Also you will learn Ben's dark secret, so that's fun, right?

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. Other music is from Incompetech. Sound effects are from Freesound.

S2 E20: An Episode About Something Probably?

An assortment of Whales are Whales folk gather together to chat about the pressing topics of our age, including... um... you know, stuff. So... okay. This is Stephen and I haven't actually listened to this episode, so I'm just gonna blindly upload whatever's on this MP3 and we'll discover it together!

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. If there's other music, it's from Incompetech. If there are sound effects, they're from Freesound.

S2 E19: Trivia, Trivia, Trivia: Questions

Big time game-show-host-without-a-license Benjamin Smith bursts onto the scene with a brand new question-filled trivia segment called Trivia, Trivia, Trivia: Questions! I mean, the first ten minutes of the episode consist mostly of a confusing argument about Whales are Whales: Civil War, but don't think about that part. YOU signed on for the confusing head-scratchers about American presidents and eSports (a combination made in heaven). Better grab your pencils, because you're keeping score! Actually, Ben is keeping score, so... you might not need the pencil. It's your call, I guess. Okay, so, bye. Drive safe.

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. All other music is from Incompetech. All sound effects are from Freesound.

S2 E18: A Problematic Episode

Abigail is in Houston visiting her BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD Stephen and Bryan. Zachary and Cameron are sitting at home. (Ben is lost at sea.) Each and all of them carry harmful and personal problems that can only be solved through the power of groupthink. Can the fractured, recently at civil war bunch of plucky podcasters manage to crank out another episode of supreme quality and good old fashioned laughs? I mean, kind of. 

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. All other music is from Incompetech.

S2 E17: Answers, Answers, Answers: Poetry Slam

Whales are Whales comes to a tense stalemate as democratic vote fails our heroes and villains once again. What does a nation at war do when they can't kick each other and light cars on fire? Well, as the U.N. decreed in 1993, "introduce two new segments and have a silly good time." Whale Mail has Liam, Cameron, Abigail, and Ben giving offer advice to advice columns while We Make Crappy Poems Yeah is a feast for the emotional spectrum thanks to some snappy free verse poetry. Despite rumors of Bryan and Zachary killing each other off, you'll have plenty to smile about!

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. All other music is from Incompetech and the movie Psycho

All sound effects are from Freesound

S2 E16: Questions, Questions, Questions: Civil War

In direct retaliation of last week's episode from Cameron, Zachary, and Abigail, the second half of the network host their own question-fest, ensuring that fate humanity always dreaded to live through: the Whales are Whales Civil War. "Brothers" in arms Stephen, Bryan, and Ben burst into battle as the cannons of life roar their entropic death knells, the military devises cloaking technology and possibly flying suits, and soldiers fall like Styrofoam from a mysteriously packed package. 

This

changes

everything

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda. All other music is from Incompetech.

All sound effects are from the Mario Kart series and Zachary's mouth

S2 E15: HIT THAT BUTTON

Bryan isn't here this week and neither is Stephen, so... so... wait...

Who's steering the ship?

Why, 'tis Captain Zachary and his merry crew Cameron and Arrrrrbigail! They sail the choppy seas of randomly generated questions to glimpse hidden caves of mortality, resist the siren songs of lovers long gone, do battle with scallywags once named friend, and stumble upon buried treasure valued at one million dollars (before taxes).

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All sound effects are from the Mario Kart series and Zachary's mouth

S2 E14: A Whole New World (feat. Ariel)

Abigail is here for this episode of the Whales are Whales Pod-Cast, sure, but do you know who she brought with her? That's right! A female human being of very similar DNA structure and familial descent: her sister Ariel! This figure from her past conjures up thoughts of nostalgia, such as very specific childhood memories involving $16 jeans. The dual Endsleys vanish to the winds of time before the credits roll, leaving Stephen, Bryan, Zachary, and Ben to play a new segment called De-FIN-itions, during which they take turns guessing the meaning of words by going around the table widdershins-style.

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech

All sound effects are from Freesound

S2 E13: There Are Bird Feathers Everywhere

It's worth sitting through this week's record-breaking meandering intro for funny stories about mimes, an explanation of Dark Souls that the majority of English-speaking five-year-olds could understand, and a touching story about an Australian military man who dreams of someday acquiring specific achievements in Destiny. Actually, that's pretty subjective. It might not be worth it.

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech

All sound effects are from Freesound

 

S2 E12: Introducing Albuquerque Finch

Albuquerque Finch, 2016 United States President hopeful, espouses his political platform about grapes alongside new segment Podcasts are Stupid in between conversations about not doing the dishes and kidnapping people followed by the worst Storytime ever and YES ALL OF THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech and John Philips Sousa and apparently Jepordy

All sound effects are from Freesound

S2 E11: It's Ben Fun

Self-proclaimed Whales are Whales Marketing Guru Ben Smith makes a grand appearance, and he's hungry for yams! As tempting as it is to leave the description with that, you simply must be informed that everyone else is along for the ride-- a wild ride that races over to socks, loop-de-loops up to farm inventory, and plummets down to socks. Just don't throw up along the way like Abigail did!

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech

All sound effects are from Freesound

S2 E10: It's Bean Fun

Can the Whales are Whales crew recuperate from every single business in the world refusing to offer them advertising deals? And if so, how? The answer is "yes" and "beans" respectively. The world slowly drifts back to normalcy as everyone unwinds by chatting about TV, discussing their favorite foods, and telling stories about enchilada salesmen with dark secrets.

Alternate episode title: Kales are Kales 

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech and John Philips Sousa

S2 E9: And Then There Were None Sponsors

After last week's nail-clipping-related sponsor spot disaster, the Whales are Whales advertisers have all pulled out. It's up to our brave heroes to prove that they have the class, humor, and expertise to sell products like hotcakes. That is to say, sell products very quickly through popular demand and sell products such as hotcakes. Those who survive this ordeal can enjoy an additional segment from local marketing director Ben Smith called "Fish or Metal Band?"

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech, John Philips Sousa, and Barrington Levy

S2 E8: No More Commu-FISH-m

What made Bryan, Zachary, and Abigail into the weirdo squad that they are today? You're about to find out in a brand new segment called Democra-SEA in Action, which acts as a hat for anonymous questions to be tossed into. The theme this time? Childhood. That's right: we're swapping out stories of strawberry-flavored vodka for strawberry-flavored Popsicles. And if you think that'll make the ratings plummet, wait until you hear this week's sponsor.

Our theme music is The Olive Gang by coda

All other music is from Incompetech